RTV #22 - Top 10 little actions

A Year of Raising the Village. Week #22 Our top 10 "little" picks to build social capital.


Better Together is a book and website (bettertogether.org) by Robert Putnam and Lewis Feldstein. Putnam is an author that influenced us a great deal when researching for our book Raising the Village.

Better Together is about building social capital - which we have blogged about before. It is defined as the collective value of all the social connections that people have and the desire from these groups to do things for each other. The authors write that, "social capital is built through hundreds of little and big actions we take everyday." From their list of 150 things that people can do to build social capital, we wanted to share our top ten picks of the little actions. Those little things that if done regularly and/or if done by more people, DO add up to make a difference.

Top 10 Little Actions

1. donate blood


2. avoid gossip


3. ask to see a friend's family photos


4. see if your neighbour needs anything when you run to the store


5. hang out at the town dump...and chat with neighbours as you sort your trash for recycling


6. say hi to people in the elevator


7. buy a BIG hot tub (ok the price tag isn't so little, but it sounds fun!)


8. sit on your front step


9. pick it up -- even if you didn't drop it


10. log off and go to the park

Village Raising Question
What little thing have you done lately that contributes to social capital?

RTV #21: Who gets the job– the good listener, the good worker, or the good talker?

How communication and listening “hire” all three!

A Year of Raising the Village -- Week #21. Communication and Listening!

In Michael P. Nichols book, The Lost Art of Listening, he says that people are often promoted in work because they are good workers, or maybe good talkers. Listeners often don‘t make the cut, as the importance of listening can be forgotten within our team communications. He goes on to discuss the role listening can play in changing relationships; You don’t change relationships by trying to control other people’s behaviour but by changing yourself in relation to them.

Hmmm...got us thinking about how we can bring listening in to the change and growth process in relationships. If you are engaged in a relationship at work or within a community group that is leaving you feeling in conflict or down-right confused. Ask yourself these three questions.

Three Village Raising Questions

1. Examine your expectations: What do expect from the other person? How reasonable is this? How does this expectation (or can this) actually fit in with the person’s strengths and the way they communicate? What do you want and how are you used to getting this? What can you learn about your habitual ways of communicating and listening? Feel like a stretch? Want to try something new? (Go for it! Try this - Over the course of one day take note of how often you are listening and how you are listening.)
2. Ask questions that show interest...and listen to the answers: What are you curious about? What are you seeking to understand? How and when will you ask? (Action, grab a piece of paper right now and brainstorm all the questions you have for this person.)
3. Check in with yourself: When engaged in conversation, what will you do to stay in tune to whether you are reacting or waiting for your turn to reply rather than truly listening? (Hint, have a piece of paper handy and jot down a few key words so that you can clear your mind of your own “stuff” and come back to the person across from you).

We are about to launch our updated Raising the Village website – watch for the colourful new changes and services! Included on our main page will be a fun and informative Quiz - find out your Group Leadership Style. See what you gravitate towards (the vision, the heart or the action of the group). The quiz is another step towards celebrating your own leadership style (and other’s). Yet, another tool and another way to “hire” (and acknowledge) ALL types of leadership within our community conversations.

RTV #20 - Support and be Supported by a Service Club.

A Year of Raising the Village -- Week #20.  Service Clubs Support.


"An association of business or professional people with the aims of promoting community welfare and goodwill."  Sounds like the work you do?  It also aptly describes the role of service clubs around the world.  Service clubs have a long, long history..for example, Rotary International has been around for over a century, not to mention the really old ones steeped in mystery and intrigue thanks to author Dan Brown!


Many people automatically think of service clubs as a source of money.  Yes, they fundraise, but consider the influence and momentum that could be leveraged by having access to a group of willing people "to promote community welfare." That priviledge of access, like everything else, means more than asking for money...it means developing a relationship.


Here are a few of the major ones, along with their missions.  Match your needs and their needs for big impact!  OR consider joining up.
Rotary International:  What would it take to change the world? Rotary International is the world's first service club organization, with more than 1.2 million members in 33,000 clubs worldwide. Rotary club members are volunteers who work locally, regionally, and internationally to combat hunger, improve health and sanitation, provide education and job training, promote peace, and eradicate polio under the motto Service Above Self.


Kin Canada (formerly Kinsmen and Kinettes - way to evolve!!):  Kin Canada is a dynamic volunteer organization enriching communities through service while embracing national pride, positive values, personal development and lasting friendships. Each club operates autonomously when determining how it fundraises and distributes those funds within the local community.


Lions Club International:  In 206 countries, in hospitals and senior centers, in regions battered by natural disaster, in schools and eyeglass recycling centers, Lions are doing community volunteer work, helping, leading, planning and supporting. Because they're local, they can serve the unique needs of the communities they live in. And because they're global, they can address challenges that go beyond borders. Specific areas of interest include VISION, HEALTH, YOUTH and ENVIRONMENT.


Fraternal Order of Eagles:  The Fraternal Order of Eagles is an international non-profit organization uniting fraternally in the spirit of liberty, truth, justice, and equality, to make human life more desirable by lessening its ills and promoting peace, prosperity, gladness and hope.  The Fraternal Order of Eagles uphold and nourish the values of home, family and community "that are so necessary and it seems so often get ignored and trampled in today's society."


Soroptomist International: Soroptimist International is a vibrant, dynamic organisation for today's professional and business women. They are committed to a world where women and girls together achieve their individual and collective potential, realise aspirations and have an equal voice in creating strong, peaceful communities worldwide.  Soroptimists inspire action and create opportunities to transform the lives of women and girls through a global network of members and international partnerships. Club projects range from renovating domestic violence shelters and providing mammograms to low-income women, 
to sponsoring self-esteem workshops for teenage girls. 


Village Raising Question:

Service Clubs vary in focus and strength from community to community.  Which groups have you had experience with or have been partners with in your village raising/community building processes?

RTV # 19 - Got Youth?

A year of Raising the Village Week #19. Got Youth?

Picture some of the most important social movements in history-- think 1960's, think Free the Children. Now consider the roles young people played. Chances are they played a biggie. There can be something beautifully un-edited about a young person’s approach to world views. They will say it “like it is” with their own unique evolving perspective and are often willing to challenge or shift the status quo.

With this is mind, we were pumped when asked to present and interact with our local high school’s Social Justice class around the topic of children’s rights and community work. The youth lived up to the "willing to shift the status quo" thinking. They brainstormed ideas around child right’s education kits and discussed how these kits could impact our community. They participated in interactive activities, without so much as a groan (unlike some adults we know). The photo above shows the class in the middle of one of our Raising the Village map exercises. How it works: The blanket lists many different types of “communities” that make up a village while children and families are at the centre. Slowly the village is collapsed with real life situations and non-collaborative re-enactments. In the end, the youth stepped in with their social justice knowledge and gave us ideas of how the village could be stronger (i.e. move in closer, more people take an edge, support one another in times of need etc.). Their responses came out slowly with a laser-like quality to cut through the complexity of community relationships... making it seem simple.

The experience made us stop and think...how many people are engaging with youth - even when the issue at hand seems only to have an in-direct link? How many community building efforts could benefit from their laser-like perspective?

Village Raising Question:

What process do you have (or want) in place for meaningful (not tokenism) youth interactions? What will you do to see this happen?

Oh ... and be sure to check out this resource: http://www.freechild.org/YouthVoice/intro.htm - for a youth voice toolbox and principles for authentic youth engagement.

RTV #18 Chase new friends - using the golden rules of outreach.

A Year of Raising the Village. Week #18 The golden rules of outreach.

Outreach efforts are one sided attempts to "chase new friends." Done with the golden rules of outreach in mind, these efforts can go a long way in strengthening connections within a community. Done without consideration, these efforts can literally chase people away and, in the long run, make building relationships harder. Often, relationships have to be built from scratch and sometimes the process can be tenuous. Is there trust, knowledge or interest to work with? Here are 3 things to keep in mind as you plan and implement outreach efforts.


Golden Rule #1 Know who you are outreaching to. And we're not talking about the stereotypes and assumptions that are held about "those people" who need to hear what we have to say!!!! Find out about the real needs and values of your target audience. Be clear about the issues that matter to them (rather than the issues that you think should matter to them). Ask questions and be prepared to listen. Questions are a stellar way to learn and they also are a non-threatening first conversation. If you come bearing information - you will be perceived in a very different way than if you come open, with questions.


Golden Rule #2 Know what your own agenda is. It would be false to convince yourself that you didn't have an ulterior motive for outreach. If you name it and claim it, you become more authentic. A dose of honesty will go along way to build trust. Ask yourself, why is outreach important? What do we want out of these efforts? What are we willing to "give" in order to "get?" By finding clarity around your agenda, you can also more objectively evaluate your efforts. How are you coming across to your potential "new friends?"


Golden Rule #3 Know your stuff and know what part of your stuff has value for others. Be ready to communicate what you have to offer in a way that will be well received (this is where golden rules #1 and 2 come in!). Always be prepared - which means that consistency plays a big role. Consistency with your messaging, consistency with your intentions and consistency with your generosity. Be ready to exceed expectations.


Village Raising Tip: Making new friends takes work and heart. Take the time to consider the golden rules of outreach.

RTV #17 Unite Families with a Group Garage Sale

Mothers United Community Garage Sale

A Year of Raising the Village: Week #17.  Baby gear for sale!


Recycling baby stuff is good for our environment. Recycling ideas is great for building community!

A mother from a local parent 'n' tot group attended a "Mothers United"Garage Sale in a much larger, neighbouring community. It was an event filled with great bargains for new parents and a way to pass along perfectly good, but no longer necessary, baby "gear" to those who needed it. It also was an opportunity steeped in sharing, connecting, supporting and celebrating parenthood.

This mom returned to town thinking that - if they can do it, we can do it too! Committed to sharing the experience with her local friends, she recruited vendors (parents with stuff to sell) and worked with the local Community School to arrange space with tables and chairs. The first year was a HUGE success - so much so that the Community School saw the garage sale as an effective vehicle to support local families and build community. It is now an event that is held twice a year.

Cathy Cross, the Community School coordinator says, "I am amazed by the number of pregnant women and women with young babies that I see. Young parents with young families; grandparents shopping for and with grandchildren; it's a promise for the future of our community. It is community building in a literal sense of the word. But there is also community building in the sense that a mom is a mom is a mom: no matter what the circumstance. Everyone in the room has a common starting point. Children and babies bring out the best in us and we work from there. I hear people exchanging information on programs, people, where to find this or that. We are not only recycling baby clothes (and money) but we are sharing information. Most exciting is the buzz in the room as everyone is talking and sharing."

Is there baby gear that could be recycled in your community? Are there some great community building ideas that can be recycled too?

Village Raising Tip: Here are a few tips from Cathy to help your version of a Mothers United Garage Sale work well:

• Be clear and confirm with vendors who are interested in setting up a table
• Always have a waiting list because there are always people who end up cancelling (life happens)
• Advertise, advertise, advertise - and enlist the vendors to spread the word (and posters) among their friends and connections

RTV# 16 Balance Screen Time!

A Year of Raising the Village: Week #16. How Balanced is our Screen Time? Who is sitting in front of a screen right now? Chances are, if you are reading this, you are! Have you ever tracked the number of hours you spend face to face with a screen (TV's, cell's, iPod's, iPad's, computers etc.)? The number might surprise you and send a message about what kind of balance you currently hold between face to face screen time and face to face connecting-with-the-rest-of-the-world time. Why not set a challenge and see if you can reduce the time spent in front of the screen and encourage the children and families you know to do the same?!

Call it a celebration... that is what one initiative is doing this very week. April 18th to 24th is Screen Free Week. Turn off screens and Turn on Life! Check out http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/screenfreeweek/why.htm Technology is not all bad - but it takes a balanced and informed approach to reap the benefits while leaving behind the rest (for children, teens AND adults!) Here are a few more bits and pieces that ring the "pay attention bell" to how much plugged in time we take in:

• Based on an analysis of brain development literature during early childhood, research concludes that heavy computer use prior to age seven may generate in diminished language skills, interpersonal difficulties and an inability to play symbolically. (Jane Healy, 1998, Failure to Connect: How computers affect our children's mind - and what we can do about it.)

• Check out this is a fascinating TED Talk by Patricia Kuhl looking at linguistic abilities of babies. There is one part of the research that compares learning from a person (live) and learning from the same person but on a screen. Guess what the result was? Nothing from a screen and significant from person to person interaction. http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html

Village Raising Question: What does your screen balance look like? (and what are you going to do about it?)