RTV# 35 ChargeYour Group B.S. Meter! Oh Yeah!

A Year of Raising the Village Week #35: Charge Your Group B.S. Meter! Bestow growing feedback.


Whether it is in a collaborative, a family or an organization, relationships can benefit from a little “call it like it is...if it comes with the good intent to call out the potential and growth in yourself and others that is.


In the book Awakening Corporate Soul, Klein and Izzo write a section on what makes an organizational group into a community. One of the interviews they conducted had a particularly eye brow raising success factor, a healthy B.S. meter (YES – how refreshing is that!). In this case the healthy B.S. meter refers to bestowing growing feedback. Here are some tips gleamed from the pages that speak to the giving and receiving this kind of feedback:

• Offer feedback frequently - so it becomes expected and familiar



• Know each-others professional and personal goals and help each other clarify these in times of lack of focus



• Appreciate each others' stories (including hopes, fears and goals)



• Give frequent heartfelt praise (filter out false compliments)



• Have an agreed upon commitment to growth –for group compassion and maturation



• Try a lively mix of intensity, honesty and humour (& be able to laugh at self)



• Understand that how we see self – is not always how others take us



• Practice feedback that includes both strengths and challenges... and all that lies in between. Leave out sugar-coated criticism



• Present open space – where people can speak without fear of judgment or attack
  

Your turn, think of an organizational group (or relationship) that you would like to bring a “community” feel to via a healthy BS meter. Use the above steps as a guideline in your feedback and start out simply.
First think about your admiration for the other person you are about to administer the voltage test with. Seep in (and ask permission to share to cut down on the "threat" or "here we go" response):

• What are the amazing qualities I see in this person?



• What might be holding them back from stepping fully into their potential?



• What could they acknowledge in themselves? Where might they grow? What feedback do they have for themselves?



• What impact are they having? impact on others?

And then, be ready to receive your feedback in return. Oh yes, this meter must be transferred both ways our village raising friends!

Imagine how healthy groups can be with this level of transparent communication and dedication to growth!
Village Raising Question: What are some good BS meter questions and phrases? How do YOU frame healthy feedback?

We’d love to hear from you. Drop us a note or like the B.S. on facebook

RTV # 34 - Make the Invisible -- Visible!

A Year of Raising the Village Week #34: Make the Invisible--Visible!

Have you ever watched a video about “community” where the images stay with you long after the viewing?

Are you someone who promotes the power of social realities being spoken?


Well, watch these clips from The Wildflowers Institute and see what’s stirred for you. You can expect to see people constructing neighbourhood models that express their views so honestly that you are bound to hear some truth ring off the film. You can expect to see perceptions animated through interactive activity. And the real kicker, what you can expect to see is people helping to make the invisible, visible.


The first video in the series piqued RTV’s social radar years ago- http://www.wildflowers.org/bird.html In this clip a youth (Bird) explains his community model and his keys to living. In his own clear and crisp way he imparts his profound advice, “Knowledge doesn’t have a color, nor does it have a skin tone”.

Enough said. Watch. Let us know what you think.

For all video clips and the full report go to: Making Visible the Invisible Power of Community http://www.wildflowers.org/WFmonograph.pdf

We believe in these interactive ways of hearing and building community – check out our Collaboration: Authentic Engagement Workshops for the RTV version. http://www.raisingthevillage.ca/


p.s. (Listen for the above quote from Bird- it’s near the end of the video when he speaks of the importance of listening to elder knowledge).

Village Raising Question #1: Your turn. What’s a video you’ve watched that’s changed the way you’ve looked at community or a video that portrayed a social reality in an honest gripping way? Post your say on our facebook or twitter page.

Village Raising Question #2: What would your community model look like? What about your neighbour?

RTV #33 - Turning Cantankerous into Cooperative!

The glass is half full AND half empty!

A Year of Village Raising, Week #33. Turning Cantankerous into Cooperative.

It's a dangerous thing to look at community building through glasses so "rose coloured" that the complexities of human nature is dulled down to an insipid, pleasant monotone. People are COMPLICATED and working with people is COMPLEX! In your village-raising activities, keep your eyes wide open for personalities, characteristics and quirks that make life more interesting, and may create a little more work!

"Difficult people" is a common label used in group facilitation resources. We cringe when we hear that. Similar to parenting, it is the behaviour that might be difficult, not the person! Taking the time to understand why the behaviour is coming across as difficult is one of the keys to turning cantankerous into cooperative!

Think of someone that comes across as confrontational, disagreeable and contrary (at least sometimes!).  Ask yourself these questions to uncover their cooperative sweet spot.

1. Start with yourself - how are you coming across? Are you being clear? Are you threatening the status quo in a way that makes change scary? Are you consistently approachable, equitable and transparent? What is it about you that could be a trigger for this behaviour?

2.  Is the person in over their head? Is the behaviour a defensive mask of a lack of confidence and/or ability? Is there a way to offer training opportunities or group learning that evens the playing field?

3. Consider the strengths of the person, are they being used? Are the being used at appropriate times?  (first question: do you even know their strengths?)

In our travels, we have found that people who have amazing critical thinking skills, or those who are deliberative about risks or those who are involved to work, not to make friends often come across as "difficult" to others who are more idea driven, action eager and glass half-full. Make sure that there is a shared understanding of the various stengths that people bring, and USE them...otherwise, you'll find people fighting the process to try to get some kind of contribution in at all cost.

4.  A group check-in might be in order! Is the group's direction on the same track as when people first got involved? Or has it evolved and left some people out?

5. Is the difficult behaviour actually not difficult at all - but adding a dose of healthy conflict, richness, depth and diversity of thinking? If so, yet people are feeling "bothered" by the behaviour, it might be a time to shake things up. Don't allow group-think to alienate those that have the courage to think differently!

So raise your half-empty and half-full glass up to healthy conflict that keeps community builders on their toes!

RTV - #32 Break the Ice

A Year of Raising the Village: Week #32: Break the Ice

An opportunity for building connections in a community happens when a gathering of people shake off their formal, guarded, business-like demeanor and step lightly into personal topics. People feel good when they are able to share things about themselves. Brief, yet meaningful glimpses, into the lives of your neighbours, colleagues and even policy makers helps to identify what our last week's blog post talked about - the things that bind.



Here are a few easy, non-threatening and actually quite fascinating ideas of things to learn about and share with people;

• favourite children's song or rhyme
• favourite season (and why)
• location of early childhood home
• names of your ancestors 
• what makes your family unique and even "quirky"
• exciting initiatives going on in your organization
• ideas for reducing stress
• traditions  

How?

• If you are part of a work meeting - use these topics as a way of introductions.
• If you are a social media users (whether new or a veteran) - ask your friends and post your own response.
• In your social groups (book clubs, sports teams, service groups) - find ways to bring up more personal interactions formally or informally.
• or try being super random - ask the cashier at the grocery store one of these questions instead of chatting about the weather (imagine how many weather conversations she/he must have over the course of a day!)

As a "village raiser" - challenge yourself to be the first one to - break the ice. 

RTV #31 - Find What Binds You!

A Year of Raising the Village: Week #31: Find What Binds US Together!

What binds us together?

Great question to ask when making summer time S’mores or a great question to ask a team, organization or group when they want to find out what the glue is that holds them together. Often the bind is found in a common purpose or cause that each person finds relevant on an individual or collective level. Once this is found, people tend to reach out to include others in the common cause (much like the marshmallow working with the tasty duo of wafers and chocolate).

In his book Exploiting Chaos: 150 ways to Spark Innovation During Times of Change, Jeremy Gutsche talks about engaging people with four levels of messages and impact. This ultimately leads to the change we seek.

The four levels of impact are at the:

1. Functional level: directs people what to do (i.e. don’t litter)
2. Incentive level: offers a compelling reason (if you litter you will be fined or we will reward people who report littering)
3. Emotional level: helps people remember your cause – keep the memory of your message alive. (Connect the emotions via a story or describe the personal impact that litter has).
4. Cultural level: goes beyond being remembered and gets to the actual action, engagement and change. This includes getting to know your stakeholder view intimately (i.e. in Texas they trademarked a slogan “Don’t mess with Texas” which appealed to the people living there - reducing litter by a whopping 72% over five years. 10-15% was originally projected as an ambitious target).

A cultural connection becomes a reflection of your group’s lifestyle. It aligns with the identity and beliefs of the people you are working with. What you create and what you offer speaks WITH people (not at) and empowers people to use their own voice to forward the movement. It binds you together with one common and compelling vision and helps people champion your work. And in the case of S’mores...it’s a delicious and satisfying blend of oozy-gooey goodness!

Like this? Post your comment here, or give it the juicy thumbs up on the RTV facebook or twitter page. Help Raising the Village become a tasty cultural connection!

Village Raising Question: What binds you with community and has you get involved?