RTV #21: Who gets the job– the good listener, the good worker, or the good talker?

How communication and listening “hire” all three!

A Year of Raising the Village -- Week #21. Communication and Listening!

In Michael P. Nichols book, The Lost Art of Listening, he says that people are often promoted in work because they are good workers, or maybe good talkers. Listeners often don‘t make the cut, as the importance of listening can be forgotten within our team communications. He goes on to discuss the role listening can play in changing relationships; You don’t change relationships by trying to control other people’s behaviour but by changing yourself in relation to them.

Hmmm...got us thinking about how we can bring listening in to the change and growth process in relationships. If you are engaged in a relationship at work or within a community group that is leaving you feeling in conflict or down-right confused. Ask yourself these three questions.

Three Village Raising Questions

1. Examine your expectations: What do expect from the other person? How reasonable is this? How does this expectation (or can this) actually fit in with the person’s strengths and the way they communicate? What do you want and how are you used to getting this? What can you learn about your habitual ways of communicating and listening? Feel like a stretch? Want to try something new? (Go for it! Try this - Over the course of one day take note of how often you are listening and how you are listening.)
2. Ask questions that show interest...and listen to the answers: What are you curious about? What are you seeking to understand? How and when will you ask? (Action, grab a piece of paper right now and brainstorm all the questions you have for this person.)
3. Check in with yourself: When engaged in conversation, what will you do to stay in tune to whether you are reacting or waiting for your turn to reply rather than truly listening? (Hint, have a piece of paper handy and jot down a few key words so that you can clear your mind of your own “stuff” and come back to the person across from you).

We are about to launch our updated Raising the Village website – watch for the colourful new changes and services! Included on our main page will be a fun and informative Quiz - find out your Group Leadership Style. See what you gravitate towards (the vision, the heart or the action of the group). The quiz is another step towards celebrating your own leadership style (and other’s). Yet, another tool and another way to “hire” (and acknowledge) ALL types of leadership within our community conversations.